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We just need you to reassure us that everything is going to work out.

These days, mothers are almost always viewed by the courts and the general public as the most capable and nurturing parent.

Easy or not, the majority of those four years, I was battling some fairly serious depression and anxiety due primarily to the minimal time I was able to spend with my daughter and the ongoing conflict with her mother.

Because of this, finding a potential partner to have a serious relationship with was not a priority for me until about the time I began dating my last girlfriend.

This is not meant to be an all-encompassing list, nor is it meant to be a list of “must haves.” Rather, I wrote it as a selection of items which are all individually important in their own way, but not necessarily deal breakers.◊♦◊Sure, we can be realistic and acknowledge that you probably won’t have the same connection with our children as you might have with a child you carried for nine months and then birthed yourself; at least not for a long time.

But we want to believe that you will eventually love them as if they were your own.

Most of that dating was fairly casual, but I have been in a couple relationships—the most recent and most serious of those relationships having lasted just under two years. Or at least I realize now looking back on it just how easy it was.

You can live your life, go out on dates, and pretty much do whatever you want within the confines of the law for 26 days out of the month.

Watching the successes and failures of my married friends’ relationships got me thinking; what exactly am I and other single dads looking for in our potential mates?When we did find time to see each other, we were both so exhausted from work and taking care of our children, that we barely had enough energy left to sit on the couch watching Netflix until we passed out.Needless to say, the communication and intimacy in our relationship quickly began to deteriorate.When we as dads take our children out in public, it is not uncommon to be asked where their mom is, or hear comments about us pulling “mommy duty” for the day.It’s almost as if people assume that if we have a penis, we are incapable of caring for a child for more than a couple hours without some kind of assistance or intervention from their mother.

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