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I was born in LA; spent 10 years in the Bay Area; one year in Honolulu; one year in Vancouver; five years in the vicinity of Portland, Oregon; four years in Atlanta; 22 years in Texas; then decided to move to Maui in 2003, where my father’s family resided, so that I could reconnect with my roots. I wrote a series of essays about being interracial under the title of “Finding My Color Brown” before leaving Texas. To my horror, however, when I got there, I was shunned by Filipinos who pronounced me as “haole” or white, regardless of my real ethnicity. So, even if your site was taken down, it has been reborn…and you will be better than ever. So, if an African-American attorney named Thomas Mc Cants Stewart (1853-1923) was involved in drafting the early charters for the City and County of Honolulu, he must be included, even though his contribution as well as others like him, have been forgotten. So, I need someone who recognizes the importance of history to the present and future and shares my passion of finding out what really happened to make things the way they are today.Anyway, I am half Filipino and half Euro-American, and a public historian. I was called the “N” word by Euro-American kids in elementary school for being mixed or “hapa.” My Filipino American father decided that since he had Italian American friends who swore up and down that our family name was Italian, that we would lie about we were. Then I spent another 10 years finding out who I really was and getting up the courage to proclaim it in public. Then we can just hang out and enjoy being in paradise and enjoy what a racially mixed society really can be.Once, I was at a bar with friends when two white men approached me.
I was a little taken aback by the comments and suspicion that arose.
The guy did, in fact, have some kind of black girl fetish.
He kept touching my hair without my consent, was legitimately disappointed that I could not twerk, and called me “sassy” whenever I voiced an opinion that was different from his.
I had never married and was pushing 50, so, I went off-shore to find a Filipino bride with a matchmaker from Maui.
Though racial microaggressions are felt by every marginalized group within the dating realm, I am building upon my own personal experiences with heterosexual, cisgender white men to offer suggestions on how to ease racial tensions that may arise in a white man/black woman pairing.